My Amazing Words of Wisdom....now 30% wiser.

My Words of Wisdom: Save time today by watering your plants while taking a shower.

My Words of Wisdom: Don’t judge a book by its cover, watch the movie instead.

My Words of Wisdom: The next time someone tells you to be quiet, quietly kick their ass.

My Words of Wisdom: Live your life…or else.

My Words of Wisdom: Don’t trust an Eskimo who doesn’t eat Eskimo pies.

My Words of Wisdom: If you can’t trust yourself who can you trust? That’s why you should trust no one.

My Words of Wisdom: Good things come to those who wait, except for those people who don’t wait and have the time of their life.

My Words of Wisdom: Why run a mile when you can sit on the couch?

My little brilliant idea

my brilliant idea..for halloween a couple should go as taylor swift & kanye. i might go as Pizza the Hut or as Ralphie in the bunny suit from a xmas story.  Yes that is me in the bunny suit for halloween when I was a little boy.  Here is a picture for a side by side comparison to Ralphie.  Thanks mom...

They took away my thunder...

So my friends just had a baby today. They posted it on Facebook so it kind of makes my big annoucement about what I'm having for lunch seem not as important anymore. Ham sandwich. Thanks for stealing my thunder look at me look at me friends.

Reeses Pieces

I know the Reeses candy brand creator passed away in the 50's. I wonder if he is resting in Pieces?

Thunderstorms = Attention Whores

So I am watching the great thunderstorm and I'm thinking to myself...okay big bright, beautiful thunderstorm...no one likes a show off. Be more humble like the moon.

That just happened....

just swatted a fly....murder was the case that they gave me.

What the?

Thought I just overhead a dolphin singing “She poppin she rollin she rollin….I’m in love with a flipper”